Monday, December 28, 2009

Too easy

This all feels a little too easy...eating seems too natural today. I've dutifully eaten a lunch and now I'm drinking orange juice. Does it phase me that orange juice is 120 calories per cup? No...and this is my recovery talking. Some days it just seems so natural and easy to put food in my mouth and I keep hearing those little self-motivating phrases like "I allow myself to eat today" that you hear in the therapists' offices and in the hospital psych wards.

I want to go back to school! Home contains too many people eating normally. My trip into the city was delayed until later this week...not sure when we're going. So today I'm just stuck at home with my two brothers and they are munching away without a care in the world. We watched a movie together earlier and now they're playing xbox...typical boys.

I don't know what I'm going to do right now but today seems to be shot. I'll finish up a normal eating day and resume low-caloric intake tomorrow. I would love, love, LOVE to start a fast...but I don't know how well I'll be able to hide that. We shall see.

~Kaye

2 comments:

  1. I totally get you with how hard it is to hide your starving yourself from your family when you're "recovering". I'm going through the same exact thing.

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  2. Something about your blog is always very inspiring to me. Hmmm... : )

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